Politically Correct Ways to Talk about men!

He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a
ALCOHOL STORAGE FACILITY.

He is not quiet; he is a
CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

He is not stupid; he suffers from
MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.

He does not get lost; he
DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

He is not balding; he is in
FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a cradle snatcher; he prefers
GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes
ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He is not short; he is
ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a
VEHICULAR ADDICTION.

He is not unsophisticated; he is
SOCIALLY MALFORMED.

He does not hog the blankets; he is
THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has
SWINE EMPATHY.

He doesn't have a dirty mind; he has
INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.

He is not afraid of commitment; he is
MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.