Online Illnesses
BTi syndrome - [Symptoms:] Irritability, constant swearing, sore finger tips, alcoholic stupor , sudden fits of rage - which always seem to occur between 18.00hrs and midnight and most weekends. Particularly common throughout March.
[Cure:] 1/2 Gallon of patience to be taken every evening.

X-streme Finger - [Symptoms:] Repetitive index finger movement, hearing strange voices, extreme frustration. Symptoms ease in the early hours of the morning.
[Cure:] One dose of Autodialer, and 1 Pint of Patience per hour.

0800 ISP Confusion - [Symptoms:] General feeling of confusion, head spinning, total inability to take in any more facts and figures. Extreme cases involve talking to oneself about £5 International calls, as opposed to ...
[Cure:] No cure currently available.

24/7 Exhaustion - [Symptoms:] Total overdosing on the Net, tired, aching mouse hands, sore bottom (too much sitting down). Lack of interest in the outside world.
[cure:] Who wants to be cured?

If you have experienced any other online illnesses please contact us for a diagnosis.