1. When its quicker to put a letter in the post than send an email.

2. When emails to support bounce back.

3. When the only people still posting to the support newsgroup are on a different ISP.

4. When support finally answer postings in support newsgroup it's only to apologise for their absence.

5. When the only email you receive off them is the reminder for taking payment.

6.When they carry out upgrades to mail servers the day before a bank holiday weekend, then all go on holiday.

7. When they don't try to stop you when you threaten to leave.

8. When they admit a 20% failiure in getting web pages, and don't consider it a problem.

9. When they change their Slogan to "It'll never work"

10. When they start advertising in every magazine going, including fly fishing monthly.

11. When they stop being an ISP, and become a florist

12. When all your friends have left.

13. When you can get twice the hours for half the price with some other ISP.

14. When they get shut down by the ISPA.

15. When they've been mentioned on Watchdog for 14 consecutive weeks.

16. When the letters you write to the complaints department come back marked not known as this address.

17. When you get a number not known tone when you dial in.

18. When support have an answer phone message which sounds suspiciously like it was recorded in a pub.

19. When the status line sounds like a someone having hysterics.

20. When its put up for sale for £10 o.n.o

21. When their customer services department rings you up and asks you to leave.

22. When their customer services department rings you up and offers you money to leave.

23. When they send you some prozac every month.

24. When support say you're off-topic whatever you asked.

25. When you get through to support, they ask you for help.

26. When they send you emails begging for old computer equipment.