House Force

The latest program to hit the TV Screens - another reality tv show where real people get to star!

The format: You've seen ground force, well its a bit like that - but with a twist. We wait til you go away for a week and then break in and redecorate your home wihtout you knowing or giving your consent! Yes we'll paint it purple and add sand to the paint to give it a texture, and plant grass in your lounge carpet! We'll be the nightmare you never want to come home to. Worse than burglars cos they'll never repaint your bathroom aubergine!

Want to nominate "friends" for House Force? Get in touch with us at Strong Arm Boys, and we'll send the boys round.

Just send £1000 in useed £5 notes to us and we'll consider you (no guarantees) - hurry as weneed your money!

What we can do for you

• adding real fake fur to your home in large quatities,
• put up artex ceilings
• instal cheap and nasty kitchen cabinets.
• Add more colour than a 60's drug infected dream
• add shag pile carpet we found in a neighbours skip
• Import nicoteen stains to all surfaces
• make artwork by pouring paint onto canvas and walking in it.
• We'll remove railings on the stairs to give it a bit of an open plan feeling
• We can optionally remove interior walls at no extra charge.
• Remove double glazing and replace it with nothing for that real open plan feeling!

House Force guarantees:

• Your house will be unsellable
• Your house value will plummet
• your insurance company will go mad!

Design Action Team:

• George "bullyboy" Fiveman - Builder who gets things done.
• Sinthia "tasteful interior" Church - fabric guru who just loves felt (At least thats what we think she said)
• Patty "Petty" Minger - UK's premier house trasher
• Oup Yors - swedish design stylist

Not that we're keen to cash in on the current trend of housing makeover programs. Why not look at Home and Garden Freebies for some ways of improving your home.