These days what every person making a court appearance needs is an angry
mob. You can't possibly claim to be a real criminal in this day and age
unless you're there on TV being booed, cheered and threatened as you attend
court.
And you don't want just a few old dears in grey raincoats with those little
wheeled trolleys. You need a full blown angry mob.
But what if your crime doesn't incite people to riot?
How will you face your peers (Be they "inside", or in the pub)
without having had your blood bayed for?
Well the answer is simple. You rent a mob of angry women.
| Angry Mob guarantees you an increase in your street cred or
your money back. |
With Angry Mob you can:
- specify what age group of women you want - Pick from a wide
range of ages, from young women, to old ladies.
- specify volume of screaming you require. From rhymic chanting
to genuine baying for blood.
- You decide whether to colour coordinate your mob, or whether
you'd like them in random scruffy clothes, or designer gear. The choice
is yours.
- Choose from 15 levels of anger. From mildly annoyed to full
blown mob anger, including (for additional fees of course) women prepared
to jump at the moving van carrying you in or out of court.
- Additional options include a choice of chants, choice of objects
to be thrown, option of 3 styles of blanket to be hidden
beneath for that run from van to door.
All these options can guarantee your street cred increases beyond your
wildest dreams. Never again will you suffer the ignomy of no-one knowing
you're attending court for a minor offence.
We can also deal with all your stationary requirements to advertise your
impending court date, including a consultation with a publicity agent
should you require. From postcards, fliers to huge building posters you'll
find we can supply all your needs.
You'll also find our excellent range of t-shirts and beer mats will provide
additional coverage of your upcoming appearance.
We can of course provide you with video copies of your appearance in case
no one could work out how to set the video (Or if the video is still in
police custody), as well as the usual publicity shots. We are proud to
launch our new "Police ID number" style photographs which will
grace your family albums for years to come.
Make your family proud! Hire Angry Mob now!
"I was just a no-mark, good for nothing criminal until I
discovered what Angry Mob could do for me. I have since appeared
oin News at Ten and Crimewatch. Thanks Angry mob!"
Mr J Swagg, burglar.
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" Angry mob turned me from a common criminal to a top class
gangster with loads of street cred"
Mr W Savage-Beast
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"The guys on D wing thought it was fantastic seeing the
van being battered by Angry Mob"
Mr S'adnutter
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Contact us on 011111 999 9999 Now!
Quote Code "yeahright" for a discount of £50
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